Saturday, September 11, 2004
There is no sadder sight than a fashion victim. I would like to think that I am fairly fashionable, and that my make-up skills are above average. Although just like everyone else, I do love to experiment sometimes (who knew that hot pink pants would look great with a flirty black top?), for the most part, I like to keep it simple. In my continuing effort to keep the world a beautiful place, here are a few tips I have gathered as a result of everyday observations.
Tip #1
Elephant pants should be worn at a length that will cover your whole shoe, almost touching the floor. Buy them extra-long if you plan on wearing them with heels. Make sure that your entire shoe is covered, otherwise, you will look like you have two lampshades for feet.
Tip #2
Bright orange and black is not a fashion statement. It is a holloween costume.
Tip #3
If people can't tell where your cheek ends and your nose begins, you are probably wearing too much make-up.
Tip #4
There is no excuse for visibly unshaved armpits. Ever.
Tip #5
If you have a short neck, stay away from snug neck pieces (chokers, scarves around the neck, etc.), unless you'd like to look like you are being choked all day.
Tip #6
Never shave or pluck above your eyebrows. That is what defines your eyebrows' natural shape.
Tip #7
When powdering your face, powder your neck as well, unless you want to look like a mime.
Tip #8
Go easy on the blush. You want to have rosy cheeks, not the freshly-slapped look.
Tip #9
If you are planning to go monochromatic from head to toe, go ahead and use the wild bright colored printed bag.
Tip #10
A crisp white shirt and khaki bottoms is always a winning combination.
Tip #11
Go ahead and spend some extra money on make-up brushes. It is a lot smoother on the face, and it makes all the difference when applying make-up.
Tip #12
Unless you have sore eyes, do not wear shades indoors.
Tip #13
Make sure that your underwear doesn't peak out of your clothes. Thong underwear that are obviously worn to peep out of pants are so skanky.
Tip #14
If you are short-legged, low-waisted jeans aren't a good idea. And as much as possible, get them longer and wear them with heels.
Tip #15
Chunky earrings and a chunky neck piece should not be worn togeher. If you go heavy on the ears, keep the neck simple, and vice versa.
Ok, so you may or may not agree to me when it comes to these tips, and hey, some people can get away with these sometimes (except maybe for the unshaved armpits... heck, the French do it all the time). I believe, though, that the best fashion statement is attitude. Hold your head up high, and be comfortable with yourself. Here's to the world being our catwalk.
About the Author
I have quit trying to figure out the inner workings of God's mind. I have learned to just sit back and enjoy the ride.
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